Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
