He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
