I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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