you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
