Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
