You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I want to fling myself into the sun
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
