arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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