I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
