if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
