Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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