I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is Oprah even human
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
