I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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