my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
