dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
