dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize