where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
