All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
