Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
