I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
