After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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