Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
