she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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