well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
