I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Randomize
