She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
