dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
