all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Let's paint friendship bongs
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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