sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
