I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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