just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
