Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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