he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
