I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
