Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
