hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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