Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Acid is not a monday night drug
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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