sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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