woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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