you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
