dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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