Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I didn't notice because vodka
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
