I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
