i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
