On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
