I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
