dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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