Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
