dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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