hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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