you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
