I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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