"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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