So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
