This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We had to coat check the pizza.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize