Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
