you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
