I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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