listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
