your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
he shaved USA in his pubs
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
