Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
