i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
