hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
