let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
